Dennis spent his life Leaning Way over the Edge, and somehow still managed to dodge the Universe’s Lights Out command for 37 years. And it should be noted, he accomplished most of it without his phone 📱😇. 🍸
Countless people, including family members, considered Dennis to be their best friend and his presence a vital part of their lives. You know, as in absolutely necessary. Like breathing.
A boatload of positive adjectives that Most of Us yearn to acquire were manifested in this singularly Delightful Human. We’ll mention the ones that were all his own fault: curious, charming, funny, selfless, passionate, polite, affectionate, enthusiastic, gracious, loyal, forgiving, self-deprecating, gentlemanly, warm, engaging, sincere, kind, thoughtful, harmlessly flirtatious, dedicated, trustworthy, inquisitive, humble, appreciative, and fill a glowing adjective basket with your own! ←That’s a CTA, a call to action thingamagig, as we’re an interactive (🍸drinking) site and all that.
A few other qualities were gifted to him via DNA: highly intelligent 🤓 (his grandpa!), handsome 😎 (his dad!), physically strong 💪(his dad again!), juvenile delinquency tendencies 🙉🙊🙈 (both family trees are killing it with curious cats).
Dennis could also be spontaneous, bored, restless, impatient, distracted, absentminded, stubborn, hungry more than full, reckless and daring, insistent, late or early but rarely right on time, sleepless or out cold; and A.D./after death 💀, apparently kind of pissy about wanting just a regular obit like regular people get.
But.
At his core, Dennis was a charismatic and joyful force of nature, and it was this captivating magnetism that was his own special superpower.
Aunty Leesa--"Lees" to Den--describes this as "feeling the light of pure joy in his presence.”
Thus, when Dennis unexpectedly lost his supercharged life sometime before midnight on July 27, 2020 as a passenger in a horrific car accident, we--his family--plunged into an ocean of grief. Faced with a deficit so great, from the tallest high dive imaginable, we landed one big fat seriously painful Greek belly flop. You know. The kind that goes viral and requires a bored lifeguard to perform a rescue and heart compressions.
#SeriouslyOffTheRails
Unlike us, Dennis would have executed a perfect swan (song) dive.
Drowning in shock waves of sorrow, we had no navigational tools to find our way forward, because Dennis himself would have been the one to light the path, to comfort us, to help us find solace and a new tomorrow. See what we mean about his being vital to our lives? His mom Miko was overwhelmed with calls, texts and emails from Dennis’s friends, who eloquently expressed their devastation at having lost this exceptional human being.
But.
Our collective profound anguish is living proof of just how lovingly Dennis impacted the life of every single person he knew. 🍸
True that.
Would. Could. Should. Did.
There was--and is--nothing quite like the “Dennis Phenomenon” that rocked our worlds. When he became a presence in your life, you realized he was occupying what was once a big empty heart-space. 💗 And he filled that space with so much joy that when you considered your Life Before Dennis, you could not begin to quantify how much had been missing.
#HumDrumUntilDen #Snorrowful
Only Dennis himself (“Den,” “DJ,” “Denny, “DLord Tick Tock”) could have had this effect on so many people, while also covering so much experiential ground during his high-spirited journey. Dennis did not just try things, he willed them to happen. Then he set out to conquer every challenge he attempted. And since he tried his hand at pretty much everything that crossed his path, he accomplished a whole helluva lot.
#DenWasTickTockWayBeforeTikTok
But.
Anyone who knew him would tell you his most definitive accomplishment was being an unparalleled Joy-Giver.
Let’s put it this way: you were just plain happier (OK, ridiculously giddy) in his presence. Period.🍸
A Few Numerical Facts: Dennis crossed over on July 27th. 27 is the only positive number that is three times the sum of its digits. 27 is a Harshad number, which means it is divisible by the sum of its parts. The word "Harshad" comes from Sanskrit — harṣa (joy) and da (give) — literally meaning: joy giver.
The place of his death was close to the 27 mile marker on Mitkof Highway.
Dennis was born on 10-06-1982, 1 + 0 + 0+ 6 + 1 + 9 + 8 + 2 = 27
Dennis was born at 5:31 a.m. 5 + 3+ 1 = 9
His life path number was 9, the sum of 2 +7.
Dennis’s beloved maternal "Gram," who adored him, died in 2007. She passed away on 01-17. 0 + 1 + 1 + 7 = 27
Like her grandson, Gram liked to have the last laugh, so she crossed over on one of her kids' wedding anniversaries, just to make sure the happy couple saves the date. 😂
Companions
Three other amazing human beings, Dennis’s friends and fellow fishermen: Ian Martin and siblings Sig and Helen Decker, perished with him that evening. Like Dennis, they possessed individually beautiful gifts and talents.
They were on their way to Blind Slough, a popular picnic area to gather and have fun jumping off a low bridge into the water. 😄 🍸 Friends have told us they actually drove past Blind Slough toward Banana Point to pick up another friend, with plans to circle back to Blind Slough. However, they never arrived at Banana Point.
In addition to this friend who was not picked up, the Universe spared a few others that day, friends who were offered a ride in the first place, but did not end up going. We wish to express our sincere gratitude that those precious lives were spared, and we gently encourage those individuals to continue living their lives to the fullest extent possible. We thank the Creator and His guardian angels for those near misses, occurrences that are not coincidental, not haphazard, but instead, a generous reminder to all of us to live out our days in gratitude.
It’s important for us to note that Dennis’s life, along with his friends’ lives, are not defined by their final minutes but by the whole of their existences, and they were living their best lives right up until the very second they died. Our hope is that others will continue to honor and cherish each of them by sharing their celebratory stories of love, joy, and of laughter. Look for the signs.
While these four cherished people are not in our human form now, they are still with us, accompanying those they connected to most, shadowing and protecting those continuing earthly journeys.
Shortly before he passed, Den, chuckling, told his mom he was officially considered to be the “old guy” in this group of “kids,” that he was not in the know about every outing because he wasn’t always the party animal he once was. He expressed his respect for Sig and Helen, younger, talented “homegrown” fishermen, and how positively hilarious his buddy Ian was.
If you knew Dennis, you know he would have spent his last moments
a) trying to help
b) offering comfort
c) cracking a joke 😉 (head nods all around)
d) all of the above 🍸
Pointless Reader Reviews
🙅🙅☆ Reviewed by The Only Adult In The Room/a.k.a. Darlena
That ridiculous pick-a-word CTA shredded my last nerve. And, why is there a multiple choice question in this section? Isn’t that supposed to be with all the other inane questions in the Cliff Notes?
📓📓☆ Reviewed by Quizzical Cliff Notes Pretending to be Shortcut Stiff Notes
What she said/asked.
⭐⭐☆ Reviewed by Sir David Attenborough, Extremely Old and Endangered
I’d like to extend my deepest sympathy to any trees that may have been damaged.
⭐⭐☆ Reviewed by Chris Rock Desperately Seeking A Girl Named Susan With A Fake British Accent Who Knows Where the Emergency Exit Door Is
So, let me get this straight. This happened in a gigantic forest called Alaska, where crazy pioneers got lost during the westward migration and are still lost and are probably trying to domesticate grizzlies. This is where only dangerous reality shows are filmed, and everyone is shocked? It would be shocking if you drove your SUV like a bumper car and missed 8 million trees blocking your way. If I’m reading way too many pages correctly, the Grim Reaper screwed up and took out four nice Caucasians instead of four other crappier white people. You know what’s really fucked up? If this were four nice dead black people, the police would show up and shoot ‘em just to make sure.
⭐⭐☆ Reviewed by Voice of Reason a.k.a Black Lives Matter
Here's a common sense idea that hasn't gone viral yet, even though it's been around since the dawn of time. Attention, angry white females and males! Stop killing black people.
#StopTheHateDonate
⭐⭐☆ Reviewed by Dolly Parton
You got that right. “Do we think our little white asses are the only ones that matter? No!” And that goes for big fat white ones too!
(" "Dolly Parton, HuffPost)
⭐⭐☆ Reviewed by “Your Body Does Not Exist To Please Others” (Bustle)
Big and Fat should only be followed by Greek Wedding.
⭐⭐☆ Reviewed by LGBTTTQQIAA a.k.a. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, 2 Two-Spirit, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Ally, Pansexual, Gender Queer, Bigender, Gender Variant, Pangender
Here's a Silence is Platinum recipe idea. If you're in a racist, sexist, homophobic, misogynistic, zero-to-plus-size-o-phobic or any other kind of people-phobic mood, layer your face mask 6 filters deep, top with a pound of masking tape, and then cool your ignorant mad-marshmallows-on-a-hot-stick in a time-out corner of the kitchen for at least 7,314 minutes.
⭐⭐☆ Reviewed by Chris Rock Desperately Seeking blahblahblah...
LGBTTTQQIAA, you’ve got more options on that sexual preference list than a Cheesecake Factory menu. I’ll have Questioning with a side of fries, please.
⭐⭐☆ Reviewed by the Ghost of Albert Einstein, Member of Me Too
“Be a voice not an echo."
(" "Albert Einstein, GoodReads)
⭐⭐☆ Reviewed by Chris Rock Desperately Seeking blahblahblah...
Fine. Make that Answering with a side of potato salad.
🗣🗣☆ Reviewed by Aunty Marcia, Don’t Make Me Use My HR Director Voice
Chris, if you repeat cheesecake, fries, or any provocative, suggestive food language related to a potato, I’m going to cook up a pound of Golden Silence and apply it to your mouth. Blame the hot marshmallows. I was fine with putting their tantrum in a corner, until you started speaking French (fries).
🐔🍺☆ Reviewed by Uncle George, Living Mindfully for Wings & Beer
Joey, you’re closest to the pantry. Hunt around for some snackage, before Mommy really gets her mean on.
🍻🍻☆ Reviewed by Joey, Man of Few but Slurred Words
Can we, uh, rock paper slither that? Can’t get past the, uh, dog. The fake Slucy one. It’s a sentry or something. Damn. Sheriously. I’m in a shtaredown.
🐔🍺☆ Reviewed by Uncle George, Living Mindfully for Wings & Beer
Keep at it. Chandler, check the fridge.
🍑☆🍑 Reviewed by Chandler, Peaches & Crème de Menthe
Huh?! Oh, I don’t know. Aunty Leesa doesn’t let anybody in her refrigerator, not even people who live here. It’s like her happy place but like with food other people need.
🗣🗣☆ Reviewed by Aunty Marcia, Don’t Make Me Use My HR Director Voice
Chandler! Put on your big girl panties and open that damned fridge!
🍑☆🍑 Reviewed by Chandler, Peaches & Crème de Menthe
OK! OK! But this better not be like that airplane movie where they like have to eat each other!
🗣🗣☆ Reviewed by Aunty Marcia, Don’t Make Me Use My HR Director Voice
Chan, don’t be dramatic. We’re not even close to page 545, when all bets are off. And alcohol is fattening so we’ll probably put on a few while we’re starving to death.
🍑☆🍑 Reviewed by Chandler, Peaches & Crème de Menthe
OK! OK! But can somebody like warn me if Aunty Leesa starts like coming back?
🗣🗣☆ Reviewed by Aunty Marcia, Don’t Make Me Use My HR Director Voice
It won’t be any time soon. I can hear the vacuum.
#StressCleaningIsWeird
🌲📖☆ Reviewed by Jimbo, Fluent in Henry David Thoreau
“Do what you love. Know your own bone; gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still.” Something to consider when one is in starvation mode.
(" "Henry David Thoreau, BrainyQuote)
🍑☆🍑 Reviewed by Chandler, Peaches & Crème de Menthe
So gross!
🍻🍻☆ Reviewed by Joey, Man of Few but Slurred Words
So's, yeahs man. Wowza. Gives a whole new ‘nother smeaning to throw me a bone, eh, buddy? Yous OK over there, Jimbo?
⭐☆☆ Reviewed by Facepalm Fauci, Whose Sensible-Speak Bounces Off Teflon Blockheads Who Think He's Speaking in Tongues
My goodness, besides the natural medicinal properties of whiskey, I’m impressed with the level of sterilization in this two star bar.
🚑🚑☆ Reviewed by Dr. Kathleen, Hastily Blocking Relatives on Iphone and Frantically Fishing for Surgical Pliers Which Can Be Used As A Weapon
Word. I’ve been in operating rooms that didn’t come close to being this prepped...and shiny.
🆘🆘☆ Reviewed by Patrick + Topher, his Spirit Twin 911-MourningForDummies
Aunty Leesa is probably suffering from “Mysophobia, also known as germophobia, germaphobia, verminophobia, and bacillophobia(...),the fear of contamination and germs.”
(Psycom)
🍑☆🍑 Reviewed by Chandler, Peaches & Crème de Menthe
That sounds really bad. Is it contagious?! Can you, like, die of that, or what?
☆☆☆ Not Reviewed by 💀 This is a Sarcastic Comment Not a Review
Know what else you can die of, Screaming CremeD? A bad obituary idea. How do I know? Because this one's killing me. And I'm already dead, so legit lethal.
🙅🙅☆ Reviewed by The Only Adult In The Room/a.k.a. Darlena
Wah, wah, wah. Cry me a polluted river of tears, 💀.
📚🚵🏿⛺️☆ Reviewed by Uncle Bob, Mod Renaissance English Teacher Cycling Across Continents Sleeping in a Tent Taking Fine Arts Images & Reading Books Walking in Forests Like Stephen King & Buddhist Monks
Trust me, Creamy & Peachy, in this antiseptic environment, the germs have more to be worried about.
🍑☆🍑 Reviewed by Chandler, Peaches & Crème de Menthe
I’m in the fridge! I’m like in it! The fake Lola dog doesn’t care if you open it. She wants food too.
🗣🗣☆ Reviewed by Aunt Marcia, Don’t Make Me Use My HR Director Voice
Good work, Chan. Hit us with the fridge menu.
🍑☆🍑 Reviewed by Chandler, Peaches & Crème de Menthe
I’m on it! Geez. A tupperware truck like exploded in here. Wow, Aunty really likes her label maker. OK, here goes! Lola’s Organic sliced peas! Lucy’s Unsalted European butter! Lola’s Olive tapenade! Lucy’s Smoked lobster mushrooms, pickled lobster mushrooms, seared lobster mushrooms, roasted lion's mane mushrooms--
🍁🍄💼☆ Reviewed by Drummer Jonah, One Man Boy Band Baby Faced Ted Talking Jiu-Jitsu Practicing CEO CAO CDO CFO CIO CMO COO
You see any “magic” labels in there, Chan demented?
🎵🎵☆ Reviewed by Jazz /J:Essential, Poppa Bear’s Baby Bear
Vittles are vital in this weird atmosphere, man. A bowl of the CEO's magic porridge would be absolutely scrumdiddilyumptious.
🙅🙅☆ Reviewed by The Only Adult In The Room/a.k.a. Darlena
Is this a joke? Isn’t one of the fake guard dogs Lola and the other one Lucy? You’re telling us the entire refrigerator is filled with dog food?!!
🗣🗣☆Reviewed by Aunt Marcia, Don’t Make Me Use My HR Director Voice
Fake pet food sounds delicious. Lola’s tapenade would be great with crackers but Joey can’t get past the pantry sentry. Peaches, the shrooms must be clouding your judgment. Please focus on identifying food that drunk hungry people might enjoy. Do you see any actual lobster for Lucy in there?
🍑☆🍑 Reviewed by Chandler, Peaches & Crème de Menthe
No! I see red, white, and blue like patriotic Lola caviar, but don’t we need crackers for that too?
⭐⭐☆ Reviewed by Tony Stark, Iron Man “ Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.” (" "The Avengers, Screen Rant)
Crackers! “Give me a scotch. I’m starving.”
(" "Tony Stark, The Avengers, AZ Quotes)
🍷⚡️☆ Reviewed by Uncle Joe, the Drinking Bartender w/a Hero Complex
Coming right up. Here’s a high tech cocktail solution for that, Stark. It’s scotch but with shrapnel from Aunty Nancy’s garden carnage.
🏋🏋☆ Reviewed by Jason A., Built Like Ronnie Coleman but Fraidy Cat of Dead Posse
Oh, so, hey. I might have a bargaining chip here. Thinking I can take one of the dogs if somebody wants to switch places with me. I’m currently positioned south by southwest of Kim’s elbow. But keep that location on the down low, will you?
💋💋👙 Reviewed by Kim, Only Living Beach Babe in Mars New York
Posse! Posse! Pants on fire! Lucy and Lola! One, Two, Jason’s Coming For You!
🏋🏋☆ Reviewed by Jason A., Built Like Ronnie Coleman but Fraidy Cat of Dead Posse
Heyheyhey now. Bring it way down. Let’s not tease anyone with my name in the sentence...OK, Kimmy? Let’s not taunt the nice dead folk. Or the frightening pupper doggies. Whaddya say?
🗣🗣☆Reviewed by Aunt Marcia, Don’t Make Me Use My HR Director Voice
Chandler, this what I call an epic fail. Joey, stop blinking and get into that damned pantry.
🙏🐔🍺☆ Reviewed by Uncle George, Living Mindfully for Wings & Beer
Don’t bother. It’s probably full of gluten-free sawdust.
🍑☆🍑 Reviewed by Chandler, Peaches & Crème de Menthe
Wouldn’t Aunty Leesa have vacuumed that up, though?
🙏🐔🍺☆ Reviewed by Uncle George, Living Mindfully for Wings & Beer
Chan, check the freezer.
🗣🗣☆ Reviewed by Aunty Marcia, Don’t Make Me Use My HR Director Voice
That sucks. Unless it’s ice cream, we’re going to have to spend another 30 seconds thawing something.
☆☆☆ Not Reviewed by 💀 This Is A Popsicle Wish
Let it be known that in my current permabarrassed post-mortem state, I'd be cryonically grateful if I'd just been frozen solid.
🗣🗣☆ Reviewed by Aunty Marcia, Don’t Make Me Use My HR Director Voice
Very funny. Ha ha, Mr. comic strip of laughs. Let it be known that in light of this unbearable reading situation, if anyone gets anywhere near Aunty Leesa’s freezer, I'll be happy to make a batch of dead peeps popsicles.
🍑☆🍑 Reviewed by Chandler, Peaches & Crème de Menthe
Yuck!
🙅🙅☆ Reviewed by The Only Adult In The Room/a.k.a. Darlena
The only state of mind or body anyone should be in right now is way Over the Legal Limit.
🍻🍻☆ Reviewed by Joey, Man of Few but Slurred Words
Cheerses, schmozoltov cocktails. Toast McGhost aliving for duty.
🍑☆🍑 Reviewed by Chandler, Peaches & Crème de Menthe
I’m in! I’m in! I see ice!
🗣🗣☆ Reviewed by Aunty Marcia, Don’t Make Me Use My HR Director Voice
Chandler, of course there is ice. We need you to focus. You are looking for substantially caloric foods like ice cream, tator tots, pizza, or anything with Marie Callender’s name on it.
🍑☆🍑 Reviewed by Chandler, Peaches & Crème de Menthe
No, I mean, like it’s all ice! Just bags and bags of ice! That’s like all that’s in it!!
🙏🐔🍺☆ Reviewed by Uncle George, Living Mindfully for Wings & Beer
I don’t get it. How was she going to make the ravioli?
Extreme Mrs. Doubtfire Volunteerism Rating Tallier w/a Fake British Accent Like Madonna: Stone the bloody crows! I’m chuffed to bits the lady of the house values a clean sweep! If only she really could clean house, instead of cleaning our empty plates. I’d love to see somebody clean Not the Mom’s squeaky clean clock and come out of it with a clean bill of health! Wouldn’t a clean break with a clean getaway in a clean cut cleaning uniform be ever so lovely? Would anyone care for clean green tea and gluten free crumpets? Always keep a clean conscience, poppet, clean as a whistle so you’ll have a squeaky clean slate. Now clean up your act! Looks like somebody came clean! And please keep your hands and nose clean so you sleep peacefully between clean sheets.
🍁🍄💼☆ Reviewed byDrummer Jonah, One Man Boy Band blahblahblah...
So what you’re saying, Doubtfire, is you found the magic ‘shrooms.
#LinksOnThisSiteAreNOTAffiliateLinksAsThatWouldBeSuperTackyAndWeird
#WeAreWeirdAndDevastatedButNotDisgusting
