Today, one year ago, Dennis James Lord 11, my beautiful cherished son, crossed over, to experience his new beginning.
We view death as an ending, of course, and in many ways, it is. The end of seeing and hearing that beautiful voice, the end of spending time in the presence of that joyful human being, the end of listening to that hearty laugh. And so many other endings of so many things we counted on.
But.
Over the past year, Darlena and I have taken up a new habit: reading books about death. Not really a light book club subject 😀, but the death experience is current and meaningful to us, so we dig it. (no bad pun intended)
What we've learned about the after-death experience is this: despite studies and research by scientists and others, we really don't know much about it; we might know a droplet in the ocean.
What we do know about it is this: it is apparently an amazing beginning that few who return to talk about it can articulate with words. Our vocabulary simply does not qualify to describe the joy, beauty, and unconditional love that awaits us on the other side.
When I think about the power of words and the beauty of language, that's really saying something.
Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock...
Apparently, on the other side, there is also an altered state of time or it seems as if there is no sense of time passing.
So what has been a challenging year of feeling the loss of Dennis in every hour of the ticking clock, is not the same sense of time we will experience on the other side. What a relief!! 😍
So, today, on the anniversary of Dennis's journey to the bright side, we take comfort in knowing that God is good. God and His Universe and His fierce posse of angels are in charge, and my Den is basking in the light of his fresh start, that he feels the bliss of unconditional love, that he knows the answers to his questions, that he is connected to my mom and dad and friends and loved ones who have passed on, and that his spirit and his soul are also with us at times, as we continue to traverse this more limited earthly world.
"All the world's a stage/And all the men and women merely players/They have their exits and their entrances/And one man in his time plays many parts..."
["As You Like It", William Shakespeare]
It may well be that this is what we, who remain here on earth, experience. Perhaps this physical life is a test, a stage, a chance to experience lessons that will be reviewed on the other side. If it is a test, then Dennis aced it. He took all that life could offer into his hands and heart, and he never let go, until the very last breath. And most of all, he spent every ounce of his joy on everyone he ever encountered. And they felt it. All that joy continues to ripple across our hearts and minds. He doesn't stop because we haven't stopped. Our mission now is to pass along that joy, to keep offering joy to others, in the same way he gave joy to us.
Just think of him, and you feel his sense of wonder and joy.
So today, one year later, I celebrate the spectacular boy God gifted me, the son who lit up my life for almost 38 years.
In Den's Honor
Because of the local fires, the air quality is compromised so I've canceled my trip to Tahoe, where I was headed to celebrate his life by being near/on the water. Instead, I'm going to Reno to pull the slots! 😍 Den was a gambler, just like his Gram, so I'll play the slots in honor of both of them.
Den: our language also cannot adequately describe how much loss has consumed those of us who love you, but my darling boy, know that you are missed way beyond the scope of words.
Love,
Ma
