Tell us a few of your favorite things about Dennis James Lord 11, along with an image, and we’ll include them here.
Kim
Hi, Babe! One of my favorite things was sometimes accidentally scaring the sh@*7! out of you! You know, like how Jason A. panics about Dead Posse and how you hated watching fun horror flicks with me on date night. I wish I had known your Gram/Tillie because I loved how you told me she'd stay up and watch scary movies and then scare the crap out of Grandpa by waking him up with night terrors. And how she used to jump out of nowhere and say BOO when you were little! Haha! Remember that time we vacationed at your parents' place in Clearwater and got back from visiting Grandpa in Estero in the middle of the night? Of course you couldn't find the key your mom gave you, and you set off that freaking house alarm trying to get in. You were literally screaming at the top of your lungs, It's us!! It's us, Ma!! 😂 but she couldn't hear you over that stupid freaking alarm. It woke up the whole neighborhood because she was half asleep and kept punching in the wrong codes. It was SO LOUD. I've never heard an ambulance come even close to that horrible alarm. But the funniest part was when you started panicking all over again because you couldn't find me and thought one of the neighbors you woke up kidnapped your Florence Nightingale Mars New York beach babe. You were so cute when you were yelling my name over and over and finally found me way down the street. I was hauling ass away from that stupid siren! Oh, yeah, babe, before I forget. Dead Posse said they'll come to my Halloween party this year! Yay! I'll talk at ya then, babe, because I know you'll want to supervise that. Miss you!! Love you forever! 💋💋💋
Aunty Marcia
My favorite thing was that time you cleaned my eye-wear. You returned my readers to me as if they’d been put through a car wash with hot wax and triple foaming polish. Professional! Gleaming! I could see for miles. However, I’m grateful my glasses were not cleaned by you today as that would mean having clear vision for any of the zillion pages on this weird site. Lots of love and all that good stuff.
Den's "Ma"
My favorite thing was that you could believe in someone's fictional abilities to write stuff. No one else believes that nonsense, of course, and well, now they have proof and everything. You were always glass half full, even when the glass belonged to a nutter. Thank you, honey. Also, I’m not sure when I’ll be joining you on the other side because I’m not cool like you, so it takes longer for me to learn all my life lessons. I still need extra time to get the jokes everybody else gets, so it might be a while, but in the interim, keep charming the wings off the angels and making thousands of friends. Dead Posse seems like an upstanding group of dangerous men. Love you beyond all reason. Hugs and kisses and more hugs--
Darlena
Cutting Not the Mom off before she gets out of hand. We've seen what happens when someone gives her an inch of space to type words. Den, my favorite thing about you was that you were breathing. Because when you were doing that, we did not have to read this bullsh#@% ! My other favorite was the time you were about six years old and jumped on a ten year old's back to protect me. You hung on by that bully's neck for so long, yelling to not to mess with your sister ever again, or else!! Remember, Not the Mom panicked and came running outside and had to pry you off? But you were super-glued! What a great show of hard-core loyalty. That bully never did bother me again. Was so traumatized by having you kick and scream and hang on with your little David death grip on that big fat Greek Goliath neck. Good times.
Mike
My favorite thing was that time, you and I and Not the Mom were dining out. We hadn't ordered yet, and you went to the restroom. When you came back, you sat down distractedly at another booth with another couple. You even picked up a menu and started ordering from the same startled waitress who'd just seated the three of us. You only looked up when you heard us cracking up over at our table. That was pretty funny, much better than the other restaurant incident with Kim. My neck is still killing me from trying to look anywhere else. Also, I bought a motorcycle for my mid-death crisis. I'm up to about 10 miles an hour, but I look pretty cool sitting on it. But not cool enough, to you know, go early. Just sayin'. Also, Not the Mom started rollerskating for her mid-death thing, and I gotta tell you, be glad you're not here for that bad derby show. That is one scary sight. 🙈 I love you. R.I.P.
Peaches
I liked it when you pounded down Aunty Leesa’s comfort food and then agreed to race me and Jonah down the street. I didn’t mind that you beat us by a mile because it was so funny when you keeled over on that lawn and couldn’t get up. Said the mashed potatoes were not cooperating. I was sure you were going to puke! That was a good day.
Joey
I liked watching Chan and Jonah be dumb enough to challenge you to that race, because they thought since you’d scarfed down six dinner courses, you might be slower. I knew better. I’d seen you demolish a whole buffet spread then swim laps. So I hung back with Aunty Leesa and Grandpa and watched the sh%&6 show.
#OlderWiserBro #PoppedTheCornForThatGetSmokedShow
Ghost of Grandpa
Oh, sure. I remember that race! I could not believe my eyes when Den beat you kids. You guys had to be about twelve or thirteen, and he was pushing 30. He'd just eaten most of the food Aunty Leesa covered the buffet table with. Damnit! I lost 50 bucks to Baby Lees on that bet! After that, I needed a stiff drink. I still can't believe how badly you smoked 'em, Den!
Pregnant Woman With Jog Stroller
Not believing a word of that story, Grandpa.
#BearingGrudgesIsEasierThanBearingChildren
Uncle Joe
My favorite thing was pouring us a fine glass of wine and having a great conversation with you. Unfortunately, since you passed, my house is full of drunk celebrities and drunk and disorderly relatives, and their conversations are just weird. So I watch a lot of tennis and pretend to be captainoblivous. Miss you, Dennis!
"Lees"
My favorite thing was how excited you got when I made one of your five hundred favorite dishes. You were such a happy eater! It was my pleasure to make all your gourmet dreams come true, Den. I only have neutral, calm and collected diners now, and I have to say, it’s pretty disappointing not to have an OTT response to my Top Chef techniques. I have also banned my mac-n-cheese from being consumed by others. That’s in your honor, of course, Den. I might also ban peanut butter balls. Actually, I might make one big fat Greek foodie ban list. Love you Love you Love you!!
#ProudToMakeDenLookLikeAStuffedTick
Aunty Leesa's Banned Mac-n-Cheese
Uncle George
Aunty Leesa, way to kick somebody when they’re hungry and they’re down. I’ve seen no signs of food life in this place since I started drinking to avoid reading this fake obit, and that was four days ago. But the kicker is that you’re banning your world famous mac-n-cheese. Is that even legal?
Uncle Bob
Definitely against foodie laws. I’m willing to press charges on this with a class action suit. Now, let’s see, Dennis…my favorite time was when I showed up with 50 years of chess experience, taught you how to move the pieces, and watched you play like a champ. Took about 29 minutes, so about the same time as the pinterest fireplace you built. Damned impressive. We’re only two days apart on our birth dates, so you get your badass skill from me on your mad chess skills, minus 5 decades of practice. Also, watching you play baseball! Damned fine ballplayer. Also, I’m a little worried about Not the Mom’s saying cool people cross over sooner. Everybody tells me I’m cool. Thinking of keeping my head way down, ya know, buddy? Maybe even adopting Jason A's crouching under the counter strategy with Dead Posse. Anyway, R.I.P. ! And cheers 🍺 to the Posse!
Lola
I liked it when you told Lees Mommy Boss to let me eat as much as I want. Since you passed, I’m back to my fighting weight, and I look great in my bikini but it’s been a real bitch to get there. Thanks for the snackage. R.I.P.
Lucy
I only like Uncle Joe Daddy Boss. So, I’ve got nothin’. But, R.I.P. and all that jazz.
Jazz
Hey now, ease up on the loosey goose use of my musical moniker, Lucy Guard Dawg Goosey. My favorite thing was that you were fearless and ate irresponsibly. You're the only person I know who could consume a sack of potatoes and go for a quick run. I’ve taken up one of your sports, skateboarding, and besides scaring the hell out of myself and anyone nimble enough to jump out of my way on a crowded Brooklyn street, I am also trying not to shatter too many bones. Thanks for the inspiration, bro. R.I.P.
Jonah
When I visited Den in Seattle on his way to Alaska, we decided to hit the gym. We were across the country from any feasible gym membership, so my girlfriend at the time let us into her dorm gym. (see Gym Rat Story re: Den's free passes to all gyms in America 😊) We went in, and even though it was dead quiet, everyone was doing some form of cardio--with zero music! This is still by far the most awkward gym experience I've ever had. But we hadn’t worked out together ever at this point, so we said, Screw it. Let’s make the most of this shitty gym. Den goes up to the cable row and starts doing reps, but his breathing was so loud in that quiet place, it was absolutely hilarious - I burst out laughing and couldn’t contain it, which set off Den's, of course. So he's trying to breathe quietly and not laugh and do reps while everyone was staring at us, but we couldn’t have cared less.
When it was my turn, I couldn’t compose myself enough to get through 2 reps. Next, we found an empty back room for stretching and decided to lay out mats for some jiu jitsu. It was a running joke that I was going to smash him - well, he took that win to the grave. After all that, we needed showers, but Den didn’t want to use my girlfriend’s dorm shower because it was MY GIRLFRIEND'S DORM SHOWER 😂, so we walked over to a nearby YMCA, said we were in the area and wanted to try out a new gym. When the lady asked Den for ID, he handed her a crumpled up piece of paper that looked like a discarded parking ticket. (It may have been one) We get in, act like we’re looking around and once we’re out of sight, head straight for the lockers. Den took a speed shower, was done in about 30 seconds. We had a dinner to get to, so walked back to meetup with my girlfriend at the dorm. She asked, “How was the gym?” I told her we had an awesome time. By far one of the funniest and happiest memories I have of you, Den. R.I.P. ! 😂 😂
Kristin + Jim:
Our wedding was on a Saturday, and as I’m sure you know, there are a million things to do the last few days leading up to it. Jim informed me Dennis was flying in a bit early, and that he was staying at the hotel. I was like why the heck would he stay at the hotel Thursday and Friday night, that’s so expensive and so silly, he should stay with us. Dennis came in Thursday and the 3 of us spent the night together, just hanging out, like there wasn’t a million things to do! 😄 We ordered dinner and opened a bottle of red wine, and truly just laid on the couch and talked. Dennis asked a bunch of questions about everything that was about to take place over the next few days. I explained to him that 200 people were coming to our wedding… my family, Jim’s family, and all of our friends. He was like wow, all of your family and friends on the same night in the same room?? He thought it was incredible – and I was like wow, thank you for reminding me how awesome this really is. It is so easy to get caught up in the planning, and I feel like he brought me back to earth right in time to remember how special this was.
The next night, at the rehearsal dinner, I got up and thanked everyone for coming. I didn’t have a prepared speech, and found that Dennis’s words were coming out of my mouth. I scanned the room and found him and said, “Our friend Dennis is here all the way from Alaska, and he reminded me last night of how insanely awesome this night is, as our closest friends and family are all in the same room to celebrate our love.” And he smiled at me.
The next day, Dennis ran around with Jim running all our last minute wedding errands. Looking back - I just think it is crazy that we had that one night with Dennis (Thursday night) before all the craziness of our wedding began. Our last night together. We are SOOOOO thankful to have had this night. And so thankful that Dennis was able to be a part of our Wedding day.
