From Fucking Mars New York
Not only did Bob Thorstenson Jr. not entertain the idea of just anybody stepping foot on his beautiful and highly respected boat, the f/v Magnus Martens, he was hell bent on vetting and mentoring only the most obvious talent in Alaska.
There’s a hierarchy to life on the boats, and years of experience is the common denominator. But exceptional is the standard for working with a crew on a Deadliest Catch caliber boat such as the f/v Magnus Martens.
Case in point: Bobby would not even consider hiring veteran fishermen, much less greenhorns, even those who’d been pleading for decades for a shot at boarding any of his revered fishing boats. N-O. Not good enough. He would not allow them to leave so much as a boot print on any of his prized vessels.
So, when Dennis James Lord 11 showed up, after working briefly in a cannery and then tucking a couple of fishing adventures under his novice belt, he had no thought about landing a position on any of the most noteworthy fishing vessels in Alaska.
Other than the F/V Magia and the F/V Nemesis crews he'd worked alongside, his was a new and unknown face in the fishing villages of Wrangell and Petersburg. (I mean, c'mon, he'd need at least 24 hours to make 100 new friends 😜)
But.
Cody Thomassen, Dennis’s crew mate and his dad, Dennis's skipper on the f/v Nemesis, Steve Thomassen (who were also his friends 😃), did have some thoughts about this. So, they talked about it, but it was Cody who did the unthinkable. That's right...
He asked.
Bobby T.’s response was, well, less warm and fuzzy, more icicles and frost, more like H-E-L-L-S to the absolute N-O:
Never in a Million Years. Are you drunk? Have you both lost your minds? Are your brains melting like butter? Why the hell would you even ask? Did you hit your head on a rock? Have you suffered a stroke? “Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a child?”― Steven Tyler
But Cody was undeterred: Oh! Because he’s Dennis Lord!
Bobby T: Oh, yeah?! So? What’s Dennis Whoever's story?
Cody: Um, well, let’s see. He’s thirty-seven and---
Let’s all picture the look on Bobby T’s face. 😂
Bobby T: Thirty SEVEN? Thirty-fucking-seven? As in years?! Is this your idea of a very bad joke, Cody? What am I supposed to do with some greenhorn son of a bitch who’s pushing 40? Huh? Is this your lame attempt at humor?
Cody: Oh, trust us, you need this guy on your boat.
Bobby T: I do? I DO?? I do NOT. I most certainly do NOT. Why, Cody?? Why do I NEED this guy on MY boat? On my badass boat?
Cody: Um, really, you do.
Bobby T: Oh, for fuck’s sake. What’s his story?!
Cody: Uh, well, let's see. Oh! He’s from New York!
Bobby T: He’s from Wheeerre??? Where the FUCK is Mars New York? Are you telling me this guy’s from FUCKING MARS NEW YORK????!!
Cody: Yeah! And you need him on your boat.
This fun language barrier exchange went on for a while. However, when Cody did not improve in his ability to Take a Hint, a monumentally irritated Bobby T. stomped down to the docks so he could tell someone directly to Fuck the Fuckity Fuck Off, preferably the Way Too Old Fishing Virgin Asshole himself.
At the docks, an exasperated Bobby T. finally caught sight of Mr. Unworthy Old Dude, who apparently beamed in from some planet called Fucking Mars New York.
There, Bobby T. observed Dennis in action, Dennis being Dennis James Lord 11, doing his usual thing, all smiles and all in. You know, um, working.
The rest is, well, Dennis History. 😎
True that.
Commercial Fishing in Alaska
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